Seattle: Shell Oil send-off party to Arctic = Fail

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via EarthFirst! Newsire. June 7:

Shell Oil Ships Head for Arctic, Send Off Party Is a Bust–Funny Video

Shell executives and shareholders probably heartily wish today that their send-off party of two new Arctic oil drilling rigs — the “Kulluk” and the “Noble Discovery” — hadn’t included a tiny model oil rig intended for serving drinks. As the bearded, tuxedo-clad master of ceremonies welcomed a party-goer to the front of the room to receive her first drink, the model rig refused to pour anything out.

“Jones,” he said, “It’s not coming out.”

A younger man, presumably “Jones,” urged him to try again. “You can’t hurt it,” he said.

Jones was wrong.

With a “Pop!” worthy of a champagne toast, the model oil rig hit its first (and probably only) “gusher.” Liquid arced out of the top of the well, drenching the party guest, who cried, “Oh, my goodness!” as she backed away.

Another partygoer, a woman in a roll-neck dress and boots attempted to deflect the tiny “oil” spill by holding a glass over the fountaining geyser of fluid, which stopped the liquid from shooting into the air, but only by directing it straight to the floor.

“Turn it off!” someone said.

“I can’t turn it off!” replied the woman holding the glass, as the crowd muttered and chuckled in sympathetic embarrassment.

Moments later, the person recording the mishap was approached by a man who appeared to be some type of security personnel.

“Why are you still filming?” he demanded, “Can I have that phone, please?”

When the newly-minted documentarian refused, he was escorted from the building.


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– or, the cake is a lie.

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